Send this beautiful idiot back to the Void where he belongs.
Full Name: Evan d'Aranara
Year of Birth: c. 5534
Occupation: Personal Assistant to Ramaron Marlow
Spiritual Status: Not reincarnated
Evan was already living a grand life when Master Ramaron Marlow approached him to become the Earth Expert in Residence. As a man who loves nothing more than Earth cultures and media, Evan was the one for the job: and Marlow paid handsomely enough to ensure Evan stayed away from a lifetime of academics.
Not that Evan has minded his career. Working for Marlow has meant multiple trips to Earth, which means more Earth food, more Earth movies (in the Earth theaters, no less) and more Earth friends who often don't know he's technically an alien. Evan is the kind of guy who makes friends wherever he goes. Unless those people are in the Process, apparently. For some reason, spiritual malfunctions make Mr. Pollyanna too insufferable to bear.
The consummate family man, Evan always makes time for his wife, even if nobody believes she actually exists. The only reason they haven't had children raised on McDonald's and Netflix is because working for Marlow has made even this future Father of the Year wary about bringing my life into the universe. Sacrifices must be made, after all.
Oh, well. It's more Twinkies for him.
Home Planet: Terra III
Family: Celessia d'Aranara (Wife)
Orientation: Open to Interpretation
Education: Doctorate in Earth Studies